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The stone with the sword in it wishes it could see a specialist.
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Patient cannot get insurance coverage for his preexisting conniption.
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The Wizard of Oz's HMO only covers things you don't need.
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A patient going to an arthritis center is asked to fill out paperwork even though it will be painful.
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Humpty Dumpty demands a specialist when he falls off the wall, but doesn't get one.
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All surgeons can afford to give the six million dollar man is a single extra-strength fingernail.