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Strawberry mourner at funeral says undertaker did good job preserving deceased fruit jelly’s remains.
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Cat parents can only afford one Christmas toy gift but grateful kitten kids love sharing fun box, ribbon & wrapping paper best.
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Rested owner feels weight lifted after slept under dog and cat on bed.
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Excited mattress on computer discovers it is a queen on Ancestry.com genealogy website.
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Misspelled famous monuments autocorrected to great whale of China, faster running Moai heads, pee leaking tower of Pisa and stoned hen Stonehenge.
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Excited bed frame and mattress on computer discovers it is a twin on Ancestry.com genealogy website.
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Phone reassures that sex was great but was just in silent mode.
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Bird annoyed by woman saying pretty bird thinks its another earworm.
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Stormtrooper complains that the other villains took all the dark meat.
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A man clones himself with a 3D printer.
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A whale goes on a date with a whale who mouth-breathes instead of using his blowhole.
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A mummy pees from fear and has to change his bandages.
