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  • Santa’s smartphone fitness app says his Body Mass Index is bowl full of jelly.
  • Scared cookies watch Christmas horror movie with Santa murderer coming down chimney.
  • Gift wrap takes 2 minutes or 22 minutes with naughty cat laying on wrapping paper for belly rub.
  • Dog opening Christmas present tells guilty dog regifted dead rodent looks already rolled in.
  • Elf says gesundheit to Santa after Christmas presents are sneezed out of sleigh.
  • Pirate with wooden leg and hook hand has peg leg Christmas stocking hung on fireplace mantle.
  • Santa on laptop plans 75 million Christmas Eve sleigh trip stops on air travel website.
  • Angry cat is annoyed it can’t knock off Christmas tree ornaments hung too high.
  • Overweight nutcracker eating doughnuts tells other nutcracker they count as nuts.
  • Santa teaches sled Ted Talk lecture to reindeer audience.
  • Santa using laptop rates kids’ cookies online from one to five stars.
  • Dog wants more presents from Santa to destroy after ripping up gift wrap making a large mess.


You searched for: xmas