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  • Snake's new diet is to tie itself into a knot to restrict eating.
  • Big pigs tell wolf he's got the wrong pigs.
  • Woman thought snowman would be muscular when he said he was built.
  • Tower of Pisa runs on treadmill to stay lean.
  • Snake asks husband if swallowing whole hamster makes her butt look big.
  • Pear's figure is improved by working on his core.
  • Reindeers' return trip isn't easier because Santa gains weight back with milk and cookies.
  • Couple eats so much, their stomach touch under table.
  • Cake goes straight to woman's arm instead of to her hips.
  • Bowling ball catchers don't last long in the league because they get injured.
  • Tom loses 10 pounds and 15 friends because of embarrassing dance-walking.
  • The Reznicks hire those in exacting professions to cut their twins' birthday cake into equal slices.


You searched for: weight