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Mother sheet of paper has staples, daughter has paper clips, mom tells daughter she is too young for staples.
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Children watching National Geographic are scared of mom because mother turtles abandon young, and mother chameleons eat their young.
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Several older women chase after Danny because he was born with the kid's curse of having ultra-squeezable cheeks.
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Husband orange tells judge he wants divorce because he wanted kids and wife never told him she was seedless.
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Humpty Dumpty's wife has remarried another egg, and they have 12 kids, which are eggs in a carton.
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Mom letter N wants husband, Nick, to participate since they are in Mexico, she bought funny hats for everyone, which are actually tilde characters.
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Key reads scary story to small keys on a stormy night, book is called, "The Skeleton Key."
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Captain Kirk has retired, answers door to see alien woman and alien child, thinks to himself, "Oh, God, not another paternity suit."
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Mailman delivering bag full of babies thinks that storks shouldn't get vacations.
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Flea real estate agent tells flea couple woman's big head of hair is perfect place to start family because of space and privacy.
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Mother mentions twins with cloning machine, Dad realizes they don't have twins.
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The scarier version of Star Wars is when Darth Vader reveals he's Luke's Mother.