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  • Humpty Dumpty falls off the wall, but his phone survives.
  • Woundex spray sprays people with glass so they'll stop asking you to clean.
  • A fish goes for the "dangerous type": a fishing lure.
  • Frosty the Snowman stops smoking when he melts his face off trying to light his corncob pipe.
  • A pirate with two hooks for hands goes to use the bathroom.
  • For cats, the pain given should be directly proportional to the pleasure received.
  • A chiropractor's business is looking up because everyone is looking down at their phones.
  • Darth Vader's hand hurts when he uses the Force to strangle someone.
  • The grim reaper's son trips and cuts his own head off with his scythe.
  • Candles eat a candlelight dinner, but it's not romantic.
  • An antelope can't run away from a cheetah because it wore the wrong shoes.
  • A cat's insurance only covers every other life.


You searched for: painful