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A man hands out free models of the USS Enterprise.
Cootie, sitting on a bald man's head, radios to mission control, located on a full head of hair, about unhospitable environment, including a harsh glare.
The Earth is applying Preparation V to his backside to soothe burning because of painful volcanoes that just won't go away.
Earth in space with hand of God visible, someone on Earth tells friend to take telescope and tell him what he thinks he sees.
Captain Kirk has retired, answers door to see alien woman and alien child, thinks to himself, "Oh, God, not another paternity suit."
Earth notices a volcano, like a pimple, on his forehead before his date with Venus.