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Single wine glass at bar tells martini margarita is cute but can’t get past salt flake dandruff flaw dating deal breaker.
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Expired older Humpty Dumpty apologizes to surprised lover for disappointing sexual performance with past best by dates excuse.
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Single boulder on cellphone dating website rejects pushy looking Greek myth Sisyphus photo in bad first impression.
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Frustrated playing card on smartphone dating app picks from identical cards backs profile photos.
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Man on date’s gallbladder helps him digest restaurant meal, but rude pee bladder has gall to interrupt make out kissing.
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Houseplants couple talking on phones have sexy conversation about moist & fertilized gardening soil.
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Lazy cat owner clears clean trail for date through filthy shedding pet fur covered home to couch.
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Snuggling cats love sharing heart-shaped candy box Valentines Day present together.
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Hors d'oeuvre dining at restaurant asks nacho date how long it’s been covered in cheese.
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Iphone in bed prefers scroll phone husband’s screen to Brad Pitt picture before sex.
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Monkey date apologizes fur infested in head lice but girlfriend loves he brought lunch.
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Orange on laptop browses O.J. OKCupid parody online fruit dates profile photos.
