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  • Turtles look for new places to live, but all the good ones are on a golf course.
  • A man waxes his car with turtle wax, while a turtle waxes his shell with car wax.
  • A snail is jealous beacause her husband is hanging out with a turtle.
  • A turtle imagines giving a talk to shell-less turtles.
  • A turtle with three heads uses a carpool line.
  • Giant turtle, after swallowing man, scares workers away by asking them if guy looks good in a turtleneck, and man is visible inside turtle's throat.
  • Children watching National Geographic are scared of mom because mother turtles abandon young, and mother chameleons eat their young.
  • Turtle coming out of a store wonders where he parked because the parking lot is full of turtle shells that all look the same.
  • Turtle stuck on back after falling off ladder agrees to take wife to dinner and movie and buy roses if she will turn him over.
  • Turtle trying to reach racing finish line is followed by a Hare Krishna who keeps trying to get his attention and give him pamphlet.
  • Turtle locks himself out of his shell, he is standing next to shell naked and using wire hanger to try and open shell.



You searched for: turtle