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  • A girl makes a larger chimney so she can get a pony.
  • A man buys a headache detector to see if his wife is lying about wanting to have sex.
  • A student brings his dog in an x-ray machine to show his teacher where his homework is.
  • A girl is going to have trouble passing her assignment because her dog ate it -- and so will the dog.
  • A dog dislikes technology because now to eat kids' homework he has to eat their whole computer.
  • A cat hacks up a hairball after dinner to make room for dessert.
  • Feline Self-Help books cover topics relevant to typical bad cat behaviors.
  • A chicken laments his stupidity for crossing the road and getting run over.
  • A tree claims he was in a forest falling when a crime took place.
  • A man criticizes the man who's about to give him a job interview while they're both driving.
  • A woman can't think of a reason not to go out with a man, but when he calls later she'll have had time to find one.
  • A new phone technology makes you sound like you're sick when you call in sick.


You searched for: excuses