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Student realizes she doesn't have her homework, but her dad's policital campaign speech, while Dad gives speech talking about liking Mommy and being pretty in dresses.
Child E asks Dad E if he'll grow up capitalized like dad, dad says yes, but he has to stay away from drugs, guns, and white-out.
Captain Kirk has retired, answers door to see alien woman and alien child, thinks to himself, "Oh, God, not another paternity suit."
Man holds "Best Dad in the World" trophy, realizes it came from a gift shop and wasn't put to a global vote.
Mother mentions twins with cloning machine, Dad realizes they don't have twins.
The scarier version of Star Wars is when Darth Vader reveals he's Luke's Mother.
Boy thinks smoke alarm is a dad cooking alert.
Wasted drunken Xmas reindeer Rudolph mistakes lighted red stop signal for father’s glowing nose.