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  • A baby falls out of a treetop and the police wonder who would be stupid enough to put a cradle there.
  • A baby protests when his dad gives him an "I Love Daddy" bib.
  • A man cuts the light cord instead of the umbilical cord.
  • A baby's dad gets distracted during a sports game and doesn't burp him.
  • A baby conehead is born with a round head.
  • A man begs a doctor to induce his wife's labor so their baby will be a compatible star sign.
  • A new dad thinks his baby blew a gasket.
  • A man accientally throws away his baby instead of a diaper.
  • A surgeon kisses his patient's organs in the hopes of making them better.
  • A dad tells his baby he'll have a hard time filling his shoes, but his baby poops in them.
  • A man wishes he could hear his new baby's thoughts, but the baby is hoping he doesn't inherit his dad's nose.
  • A pregnant woman can't stop saying contractions.


You searched for: father