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  • Bubbles the fish is upset with wife because she ordered stuff from home shopping network, making him realize what it means to marry a suckerfish.
  • Man walking into ladies' intimate apparel store hopes no one saw him, not realizing there's a big celebration waiting because he's the one millionth customer.
  • Godzilla tastes huge pot of food that contains Gilligan, Mary-Ann, and others, and says it tastes good, it just needs a little bit of Ginger.
  • Man on barstool watching FDA report on TV asks frog if he can believe the bug parts allowed in food, frog says it's pretty skimpy.
  • Thief tells victim that after he beats and robs him, his agent is available to discuss who will portray him in TV re-enactment, agent stands by.
  • Children watching National Geographic are scared of mom because mother turtles abandon young, and mother chameleons eat their young.
  • Egg watching TV, show announces that episode of "Julia Child Makes Yummy Omelette" contains graphic scenes, viewer discretion is advised.
  • Cat watches TV commercial saying 9 out of 10 cats prefer Ace Kitty Litter to using neighbor's yard, cat wonders about truth-in-advertising.
  • Three Tupperware containers sit on furniture while wives are out, and they are all making their lids burp with food and cans scattered everywhere.
  • Popeye on the phone with mom telling her he appreciates her negotiating his contract except for the clause having him eat spinach in each episode.
  • Captain Kirk has retired, answers door to see alien woman and alien child, thinks to himself, "Oh, God, not another paternity suit."
  • Alvin the chipmunk is on talk show telling host he didn't become one of the chipmunks overnight, he worked his way up starting as gofer.


You searched for: television