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Expired older Humpty Dumpty apologizes to surprised lover for disappointing sexual performance with past best by dates excuse.
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Rebellious cricket prefers base ball, fire ant plays in pool, never married spider relaxes & bed bug naps on sofa.
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Silly dog bluffs owner not in mood to sleep on bed but playfully jumps up joking April Fool’s!
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Iphone in bed prefers scroll phone husband’s screen to Brad Pitt picture before sex.
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Misspelled Valentine’s Day texts autocorrected box of chalk lights chocolates, liver lover boy, car valet time & rude bugs swearing disses insults.
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Absent minded classical grand piano remembers forgotten musical note keys left on bedside table.
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Sexually satisfied smartphone in bed tells phone lover it put it in airplane mode.
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Man in bed looks forward to extra time to sleep as Day Light Savings ends but cat hits face for food early morning.
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Sleeping dog dreams chasing rabbit, wakes to spouse kicked out of bed on floor.
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Owner sleeps as cat boops him till other cat’s bladder poke wakes to use bathroom.
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Cat compared to smartphone wakes sleeping owner, wails music out window, entertains catching bug and is difficult to find.
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Woman on computer screen tells man on Zoom meeting she loves his run down shack background but it’s his messy room.
