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Doctor operating says patient's rudeness and nasty disposition is treated by surgically removing the hair up his gluteus maximus.
Doctor examines red and irritable rash on man's arm, and the rash calls him a cretin, and yells at him to get away and leave it alone.
Doctor tells patient who has dark stains under arms that he needs to exercise, eat healthy, and keep deodorant and spray paint in different cabinets.
Patient wants doctor's assurance before his physical that doctor's medical journals are more up-to-date than waiting room magazines.
Doctor listens to pregnant woman's belly, she asks him how many heartbeats he hears because baby is in womb playing bongos.
Man with injured right knee approaches two doors, door on left is left knee specialist, door on right is right knee specialist, nurse points him right.
Doctor tells injured pillow lying on bed with Band-Aids and IV to cool it with the pillow fights for a while.
Doctor prescribes painful suggestions for patient on April Fools Day.