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You searched for: autos

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  • Man yells at cabbie that he drove by his stop, and cab has a sign that says, "Joe's Taxi - We Go That Extra Mile."
  • Long and winding roadkill is long snake with his body curved and a tire tread mark running over him.
  • Wife asks husband why he ordered the biggest burger if he's not very hungry, and menu offers baby, girly, wimp, wussy, and humongous burgers.
  • Wife gives husband birthday gift of dent puller, touch-up paint, and auto body gift certificate, he asks if there's something she needs to tell him.
  • Traffic helicopter wrecked on Route 93 broadcasts that drivers should find alternate routes because traffic on 93 is backed up more than usual.
  • Cars driving on interstate with a sign that shows "Food This Exit", not realizing the exit leads straight to dinner table of dinosaur.
  • Auto salesman tells customer that sports car is latest model and has racing stripes, rear spoiler, fuel injection, and compartment for speeding tickets.
  • Hal stares out window of a Used Q-Tip store, wondering where he went wrong because other stores offer used cars, used furniture, and used clothes.
  • Two traffic lights in front of automobile accident, one signal light says to other she doesn't care whose turn it was, red isn't her color.
  • Hector draws picture for judge in court, showing how he made an R-turn instead of U-turn to get out of traffic violation.

  • Race car driver, Mario Andretti, is stuck behind student drivers on a highway with no passing for 500 miles.
  • Detectives question Bernie the battery, asking him if he powered the bank robber's getaway car, but Bernie was never charged.


You searched for: autos