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  • A girl who tattles on her brother is the original automatic teller.
  • Godzilla eats a car with double airbags.
  • Aliens learn what traffic signal lights mean on Earth - green for proceed and red for stop and put your finger in your nose.

  • Angry driver demands police officer who is giving a traffic violation ticket tell him where the stop sign is that he ran, failing to notice it stuck to his car.
  • Man yells at cabbie that he drove by his stop, and cab has a sign that says, "Joe's Taxi - We Go That Extra Mile."
  • Wife asks husband why he ordered the biggest burger if he's not very hungry, and menu offers baby, girly, wimp, wussy, and humongous burgers.
  • Wife gives husband birthday gift of dent puller, touch-up paint, and auto body gift certificate, he asks if there's something she needs to tell him.
  • Traffic helicopter wrecked on Route 93 broadcasts that drivers should find alternate routes because traffic on 93 is backed up more than usual.
  • Cars driving on interstate with a sign that shows "Food This Exit", not realizing the exit leads straight to dinner table of dinosaur.
  • Auto salesman tells customer that sports car is latest model and has racing stripes, rear spoiler, fuel injection, and compartment for speeding tickets.
  • Hal stares out window of a Used Q-Tip store, wondering where he went wrong because other stores offer used cars, used furniture, and used clothes.
  • Two traffic lights in front of automobile accident, one signal light says to other she doesn't care whose turn it was, red isn't her color.


You searched for: auto