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  • Nostradamus begins every social networking post with spoiler alert.
  • Nostradamus accurately predicts husband will spill marinara on new shirt.

  • Candles complain menorah movie is a little predictable.
  • Wife can guess by husband's cloud tan lines that is was cloudy but not windy at beach.
  • A groundhog gets a sundial as a present.
  • Political pundits predict that a rock will beat scissors in the election.
  • A fortune teller has a bumper sticker that says "Ask Me About Your Grandkids"
  • A man reads a fortune cookie fortune that says "you will look like a fool" on one side and has teeth on the other side.
  • A snowflake's fortune cookie says it has a 30% chance of falling today.
  • A whale psychic predicts that another whale will retire to the beach.


You searched for: predicting