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A librarian wants her daughter returned by 9, or she'll start charging her date nickel fines.
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Feline Self-Help books cover topics relevant to typical bad cat behaviors.
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A woman swears when a book about swearing falls on her.
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A woman checks the dictionary for spelling, but thinks she spelled words upside-down because she's holding the dictionary upside-down.
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A man goes fishing for microfiche.
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Godzilla destroys library looking for a book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People."