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Scratched Noah from Bible flood story tells man animals all came to ark willingly except cats.
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Cats commit crimes vandalizing torn curtains, dangerous speeding downstairs, breaking and entering treats, and shedding fur napping in laundry basket.
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Telecommuting worker is stuck in middle between squabbling cat and dog coworkers fighting.
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Criminal cat robber steals bread, hit and run breaks flowerpot, stalking attacks feet and wakes owner resisting a rest.
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Fighting cats hiss and snarl at each other on computer screen in online Google Hangouts meeting.
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Cats keep owners youthful playing frustrating games like claw tag, glass catch, musical chairs and pet carrier hide & seek.
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Bad cat scratches, claws and gets in owner’s way committing reckless endangerment, obstruction, destruction of property and hand slaughter crimes.
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Connected cat technology upgrades like Touch Screen climbing, Voice Command meowing at door, Airplane Mode pouncing, and Being Trolled bird tweets.
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Cat fills in feline Mad Libs story about great day scratching expensive items, biting owner, puking and napping.
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Cat on laptop answers security questions about scratching, puking and knocking things off table.
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Playing cat pounces on restrained man’s face during laser eye surgery gone wrong.
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Mouse caught by cat yells “you said the coast was clear!” at mouse in hole reading sunny and breezy coastal weather forecast on cellphone app.
