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A cat says swallows got their name because you can eat them.
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The groundhog's wife sees his eye shadow, so he's in for a long cold winter.
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A snowman buys Preparation I to get rid of icicles on his butt.
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A beaver buys a popsicle from an ice cream truck so he can chew on the wooden stick.
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Santa loses his pants while going down a chimney.
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A snowman pathologist disappoints a snowman cop because his DNA tests are inconclusive because no two snowflakes are the same.
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A farmer hates harvesting spring chickens because their springs make them too bouncy to catch.
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Punxsutawney Phil's wife makes fun of the size of his butt.
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A rabbit steals a carrot from a snowman's nose to give as a gift.
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Santa wakes up a boy's parents to find out who's been forging his name on lame presents.
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Two boys hack Santa's computer to put themselves on the nice list and their sister on the naughty list.
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Birds wait for a man to shovel his car out of the snow so they can poop on it.
