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Wife sends Grim Reaper text asking him to buy chocolate.
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Cat used to play with mouse before eating it.
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Beer mug becomes frosty when boyfriend calls her stout.
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Wife is disappointed housefly never wants to go out.
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Nothing appears under the Christmas tree because all the gifts are digital downloads.
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Dog cries over bowl present being empty.
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Husband comes home to christmas tree cheating with decorations strewn on the floor.
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Present can't decide which wrapping paper to wear.
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Cat is asked to leave when he mistakenly thinks sand-colored carpeting is litter.
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Smartphone excuses cheating to husband by claiming they were only taking selfies.
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Mrs. Potatohead sees no difference in cheating on husband with potatohead cable guy.
