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Ninja Sloth picks shocked date’s Valentine’s Day flowers off stems & wears floral hat.
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Beer bottle on smartphone dating app sees sexy single malt singles’ profile pictures online.
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Finicky kitties scratch furniture, curtains, rugs, screens & clothes but ignore pets’ scratching posts.
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I used to think Cupid carefully considered valentine’s love choices, now I think shoots arrows blindfolded.
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Man picks smelly urine asparagus or non-asparagus bathroom options.
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Man attacked by pecking sea gulls regretted wearing potato chips pattern swim trunks to beach.
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Pet owner lets kitty walking on laptop keys pick difficult internet security login passwords.
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Underwater sharks restaurant diner selects person swimming above as dinner order from shark waiter.
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Cat marijuana dispensary customer buys kitty named feline catnip herb kind buds selection.
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Service dog in clothes store says awful shirt is tacky helping fashion taste impaired owner pick stylish apparel choices.
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Dog dining in restaurant tells waitress will sneak from owner’s order to eat as meal.
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Pet owner identifies french fries stealing canine in police station suspects criminal line up.
