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Christmas tree isn't watered enough, so it takes the water from a nearby fish bowl.
A writer feels he is his worst critic but his wife assures him that she hates his writing more.
Mrs. Claus tells Santa she is with Frosty because doctor told her to apply cold to shoulders.
Husbands compare scars caused by their wives kicking them under the table for things they said.
Santa knows when Mrs. Claus is sleeping, and when she isn't sleeping.
Mrs. Potatohead is so worried about getting tan lines at the beach that she takes off all her body parts.
Dinosaur wife tells husband that if he eats the baked bean factory, he is sleeping on the couch.
Wife gives husband birthday gift of dent puller, touch-up paint, and auto body gift certificate, he asks if there's something she needs to tell him.
Bubbles the fish is upset with wife because she ordered stuff from home shopping network, making him realize what it means to marry a suckerfish.
Wife tells husband, Albert, that expandability is a good feature for computers, not husbands, just as he has his mouth open extremely wide to eat an entire piece of cake.
One fowl says since Gregory was cremated, he feels like he is with him - and there is a can of cream of chicken on the mantel.
One soft cover book wonders if his wife only comes to the beach to look at the hard covers.