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Godzilla wearing eat locals t-shirt devours local people in demolished city.
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Dieting snake with six tiny and one big bulge in stomach tells other snake it was good all week so today is my cheat day.
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Cat on laptop computer suggests finicky diet website but dog says can’t see it working for him.
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Psychologist tells groundhog therapy will help his shadow fears as scary clowns sneak up behind him.
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Colored paint splatters cover pranked man’s face and clothes in paintball pinball game joke.
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Man reads list of red ink altered New Year resolutions changed to dogs’ wants as dog naps with marker.
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Santa’s smartphone fitness app says his Body Mass Index is bowl full of jelly.
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Large potted house plant is discouraged it wont fit into smaller pots in closet again.
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Toilet paper congratulates smaller TP roll for weight loss but it says it’s not sure it was worth it.
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Vampire at restaurant tells date he tried going vegan but you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip.
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Cat teacher shows cat students nutrition pyramid refusing all food groups.
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One Zilla monster asks another eating a chocolate factory if it broke it’s New Year’s Resolution already.
