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Woman disguises passing gas as noise of a sound birthday card.
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Lincoln sculpture works out and is more sculpted than other Mount Rushmore figures.
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Lettuce farmer separates the heads from the bodies of lettuce.
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Owners lap sizes match the size of their laptops.
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An elderly M&M's m-shaped breasts become w's because they're saggy.
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Therapy patient refuses to visualize because of speedo store customer.
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Crowd votes for out of shape man to keep his clothes on at nude beach.
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Turkeys nervous about sign for carved physique at Turk's Gym.
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As soon as a cat leaves its body during meditation, it wants to turn around and get right back in.
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A mummy maker uses up the roll of bandages without putting on a new one.
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A doctor's patient is so fat that his love handles have love handles.
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Husband fish tells wife fish that fishing story is not true and that she is not that big.
