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A dad dropping his daughter off at daycare tells her to get the pooping and spitting-up out of her system while she's there.
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A cat hasn't slept in two hours, so he goes to therapy.
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A dog leaves her husband and tells her she faked every time she wagged her tail.
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Cats think the power button on the answering machine is marked that because turning it off gives them power.
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A homeless cat wants to pee on the rug and claw the furniture of a woman who feeds it.
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A cat thinks chocolate mousse is a very well-blended chocolate mouse.
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A dog chained outside gets resentful when his owner hums 'Unchained Melody.'
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A cat is interested in watching The Big Sleep.
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A cat knocks over a vase so it can steal a bite of its owner's turkey.
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A man calls for his dog, Fat Moron Pig, and gets beat up.
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A cat knocks bacon grease onto the rug just as its owner notices an advertisement for a rug sale.
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A lobster thinks a couple is adopting her and her friend, but really they're about to get eaten.
