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  • A paint can sees a psychiatrist because it wants to be thinner.
  • A celebrity gossip magazine writes about Christmas themes.
  • Regular people do extreme sports like driving with a car full of balloons and eating leftovers from the back of the fridge.
  • The children's version of Candy Land has characters like Princess Lolly, but the adult version has ones like M.T. Calories, Colossal Waist, and Dental Bill.
  • A cloud tells his girlfriend she looks like a horse.
  • Godzilla eats the Jolly Green Giant and marks him as a salad in his diet book.
  • A calendar on the leap day thinks it overdid it on the holidays because it gained 24 hours.
  • A woman resolves to be the right weight for height, so she buys six-inch heels.
  • The real reason the Universe is expanding is because it eats too much ice cream.
  • Snowmen gain weight in a snowstorm.
  • The three not-so-wise men make inconsiderate comments to their wives around Christmas.
  • Alice throws the looking glass so she can eat things that make her larger without feeling bad.


You searched for: weight