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At a doggie dinner party, one dog agrees to a helping of cat because he is cutting down on saturated cats, rather than saturated fats.
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Doctor tells patient according to tests, his diet is butterflies, bees, horseflies, and dragonflies, while patient makes mental note close mouth when riding bike.
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Famous last words from Charles Darwin, Thomas Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Albert Bugleweed, whose last words were "Honey, how's your diet going'".
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Wife tells husband, Albert, that expandability is a good feature for computers, not husbands, just as he has his mouth open extremely wide to eat an entire piece of cake.
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One shark tells another that he is eating a pair of swimming trunks because his doctor said he needed more fiber.
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Person wonders why box of cereal is empty, even though label says it has no sugar, no additives, no fat, and no calories.
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Albert's wife uses negative reinforcement to help him diet, Albert's laying on floor in front of fridge, scary face and fist popped out at him.
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Husband tells wife about "undo" feature on computer, wishes life had same feature for if something gets broken, cheat on wife, say something stupid.
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Doctor prescribes painful suggestions for patient on April Fools Day.
