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Dinosaur wife tells husband that if he eats the baked bean factory, he is sleeping on the couch.
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Derek recovered and only needed 7 stitches after asking girlfriend, who has a large beak, for just one kiss, a peck on the cheek.
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One mosquito tells another that maybe he shouldn't have given her a hickey because she is rubbing calamine lotion on the bite for the itch.
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Dentist tells Dracula he wouldn't have to drill if the vampire would stop dating women with high blood sugar.
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One house tells another that the female house on the corner is nice to look at, but there isn't much upstairs.
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Wife gives husband birthday gift of dent puller, touch-up paint, and auto body gift certificate, he asks if there's something she needs to tell him.
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Derek asks woman if she'd like to dance, she says yes, then says, "Wait, you didn't think I meant with you'".
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Lucy, the blood cell, runs off with another blood cell in the artery, while Tim, the blood cell, waits in vain - in the vein.
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One fly tells another, Madeline, as she flies away in a huff, that when he says she looks like crap, it's a compliment.
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Dog sitting in a stand selling other pups the chance to sniff her for $1.00, and has sign saying that cold noses are ok.
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Spider tells psychiatrist how female spider lit a cigarette, looked him in the eye, and said they didn't call him "itsy bitsy spider" for nothing.
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Famous last words from Charles Darwin, Thomas Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Albert Bugleweed, whose last words were "Honey, how's your diet going'".