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  • E.T.'s mother complains that he never actually phones home.
  • A crash test dummy dad tells his son to bring the car back in worse shape than when he borrows it.
  • Sasquatch's mom yells at him for leaving giant toenail clippings around the house.
  • A doctor tells a kid to listen when his mom says not to inhale his food, because his lungs are full of food.
  • An airport maintenance worker brings his work home with him by de-icing his kid's birthday cake.
  • Don King's mother warns people to cover their electrical outlets so their kids' hair isn't frizzy.
  • Nude Descending Staircase artist Duchamp’s baby drawing of father’s trip falling down stairs isn’t appreciated.
  • Thor shocks his parents with static electricity as a child.
  • A baby speaks in pig Latin because he's scared the room is bugged with a baby monitor.
  • A man wipes a spot off his face with "Mother's Saliva".
  • A girl can't see her boyfriend any more because he lives underneath the train tracks.
  • A worm tells his mother that he had a safe trip and that he's now staying in the center of Rockefeller's stomach.