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  • A woman can't think of a reason not to go out with a man, but when he calls later she'll have had time to find one.
  • A dog chained outside gets resentful when his owner hums 'Unchained Melody.'
  • The cartoon lists TV spinoffs that never caught on.
  • A piece of macaroni is worried his friend has been hitting the sauce.
  • Old Faithful's wife smells someone else's perfume on him.
  • A snail is jealous beacause her husband is hanging out with a turtle.
  • So many women reject a man that he starts selling shirts that say "I Rejected Derek."
  • Godzilla brings toll houses for his kid to eat.
  • A cat knocks bacon grease onto the rug just as its owner notices an advertisement for a rug sale.
  • A woman wants her boyfriend to get a tattoo of her name, but he'd rather she wrote her name in sunscreen and he get a sunburn.
  • A woman calls her husband Hon, as in Atila the Hon.
  • A man feels insecure at the beach, but his wife says she prefers his washing-machine sized stomach to toned men's washboard stomachs.