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  • Punxsutawney Phil's wife makes fun of the size of his butt.
  • A funeral director asks a chicken widow how crispy she wants her cremated husband to be.
  • A hermit crab moves into a sunbather's ear.
  • Lice watch Rapunzel at a stag party.
  • Rhinos hurt their faces rubbing their noses together.
  • Adam puts leaves on his nipples to cross-dress.
  • A woman's morning breath is so bad that it kills her husband.
  • The farmer's wife makes soup out of the three blind mice's tails.
  • No one realizes Superman's strength until he plays Pull My Finger.
  • A woman lists various Christmas things to put in her fruitcake.
  • Praying mantises gossip about a couple where the man ate the woman.
  • A turkey pretends to be too tired from triptophan to rake the leaves.