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  • Vampire heads home after 18 holes, sucking the blood from nine people.
  • A man is crushed by a meteor, but his wife sleeps well because of their new mattress that doesn't transfer motion.
  • Husbands compare scars caused by their wives kicking them under the table for things they said.
  • A new house is really cheap because it is built right next to a driving range.
  • Man raises money to make a shelter of animals.
  • Devil with Blue Dress photos are posted on the internet by ex-wife.
  • Two pieces of paper go from being engaged with a paper clip, to married with a staple.
  • A fish doctor's patient has worms, but the procedure to fix it is simple.
  • Wife balloon is upset with her husband when he goes out to an oxygen bar and comes home inflated.
  • Diamond wives talk about never settling for less than flawless diamonds.
  • Mark's family comes up with cartoon ideas for Father's Day.
  • Pig police officer prefers not to sit at butcher block table while questioning wife of missing pig.