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  • A girl texts during dinner, so her dad texts her to stop.
  • A poodle only looks muscular because he was groomed that way.
  • A lamppost dad tells his son that his mom worked a street corner when he met her.
  • A shopping website offers shipping for your anniversary, which was yesterday.
  • An orange gives birth to lemons and her husband is suspicious.
  • A woman's husband wants to know how often she updates her Facebook because their dog has grown so big.
  • People have trouble playing giant golf.
  • A dog's girlfriend refuses to give him a treat just because he lay down.
  • Rabbits go to couples therapy because one of them wants 96 children and the other wants 238.
  • Candles eat a candlelight dinner, but it's not romantic.
  • A pear takes so long to get ready that her banana boyfriend gets ripe waiting.
  • A man is dissatisfied when his wife buys Okayuns instead of Funyons.