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  • Sign advertising massage therapist’s literal bodies touching career scares customers away.
  • Alcoholic drink at bar is shocked by censored dirty martini’s filthy sexual pick up line swearing.
  • Infant’s dad wishes babies came with instructions & doctor gives him love & accept your child note.
  • Gossiping candy canes say candy lady dating rich lollypop driving convertible found a sugar pop.
  • Clean shaven Santa Claus cuddles affectionate longhaired kitty & furry pet hair beard covers face.
  • Judgmental Christmas trees at bar say clustered ornaments hair tree is hiding a bald spot.
  • Anteater can’t wait to open tons of little ants Christmas gifts wrapped in boxes.
  • Shaving company complains bearded Santa Claus hired to promote razors but contract didn’t say shave face.
  • Frankenstien monster on sofa detaches arm to reach around date’s shoulders.
  • Man sees full moon & rips clothes pretending to be a werewolf but wife says should have said he didn’t like shirt.
  • Sexually unsatisfied ghosts in bed complain that they didn’t feel anything.
  • Books Halloween party guest flirts cool banned title costume makes her want him more.