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  • In the off season, sugar plums dance in seedy nightclubs.
  • The tin man family says grease instead of grace.
  • An anteater sneezes during a meal, covering his date with ants.
  • A woman makes her parents pay to give her their opinion of her new boyfriend.
  • A baby thinks his dad needs a drool bib while watching women's volleyball and Baywatch.
  • A wallaby gets an inferiority complex when its mom carries it in a fanny pack.
  • A man dreams of canoeing, a dog dreams of chasing rabbits, and a cat dreams of sleeping.
  • Your luggage gets lost because it refuses to pull over and ask for directions.
  • A tapeworm moves out of one stomach so he can live life in Ernest.
  • A woman cleaning her closet finds things that reminds her of her boyfriends, like loafers and sweaters.
  • The real reason Pavlov's dog salivated was because he saw an attractive female dog.
  • A man asks a woman at a bar "How are you'" and she talks too much.