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  • A worm cheats on his wife because he has five hearts.
  • An airline pilot tries to reschedule his date because he overbooked and is still with his previous date.
  • A spider tries to make his new wife so full she won't eat him.
  • A piece of grass gets bitten by a horse, but it'll be okay because it was only grazed.
  • Fish wives think their husbands are online or on the net.
  • A man says he wants closure during arguments -- closure of his wife's mouth.
  • The groundhog's wife sees his eye shadow, so he's in for a long cold winter.
  • A dog's wife catches him looking at filth on the internet.
  • A man sneezes so hard his beard transfers to his date's face.
  • Donuts are made by shooting a cannonball through the Pillsbury Doughboy.
  • Dogs say corny things to each other.
  • We get green potato chips from jealous Mr. Potatoheads.