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  • A baby protests when his dad gives him an "I Love Daddy" bib.
  • A man cuts the light cord instead of the umbilical cord.
  • A baby in a maternity ward resents the happy C-section baby next to him.
  • Funky Winkerbean gets his name because he was born smelling bad.
  • A baby's dad gets distracted during a sports game and doesn't burp him.
  • A baby plays virtual reality games.
  • A baby conehead is born with a round head.
  • A man begs a doctor to induce his wife's labor so their baby will be a compatible star sign.
  • It would be useful if babies' bellybuttons were snooze buttons.
  • Kids' pipedreams are outlandish, but adults' are mundane.
  • A baby only sleeps, eats, and poops, so cats think it might be another cat.
  • A new dad thinks his baby blew a gasket.