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  • Mother Nature complains that one of her elves made a snowflake identical to one from the past.
  • A man salts his driveway while Godzilla salts him.
  • A skiier impales a groundhog on his ski poles.
  • Beach vacation photos used to have crabs biting a man's foot, but now they have a needle stabbing his toe.
  • A snowman with a chewed-up nose picks a rabbit out of a police lineup.
  • A female deciduous tree says her pine tree husband doesn't understand what it's like when her leaves change in autumn.
  • Two lice think Dennis Rodman's hair dye changes are the seasons
  • A shark helps a man who lost his glasses in the ocean.
  • The big bad wolf blows his own house down because he sneezed.
  • A pig on a beach tells the bacon next to it that it should have worn sunscreen.
  • A woman says she's trying to avoid red meat, but all the meat at the barbecue is burned black.
  • A man without health insurance goes to a beach littered with needles and pill bottles to feel better.