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  • Shop teachers can get discount manicures because they usually have fewer fingers.
  • A caveman only takes the part of a big cat's pelt he needs to wear.
  • A man gets turned down for a job position because he reminds the interviewer of someone he hated in high school.
  • Pigs need to teach their children to eat like pigs.
  • Cats go to a lecture to learn time management.
  • Skunk philosophy is "I stink, therefore I am."
  • People crash testing a car have a crash test bug fly into the windshield.
  • The boss of a laxative company reminds his employees that anyone questioning his authority will become a product tester.
  • Aliens learn what traffic signal lights mean on Earth - green for proceed and red for stop and put your finger in your nose.
  • Man in shower wonders about the last time the water was tested for lead because he has several pencils stuck in his face.
  • Cat reads a book about learning to walk on a tight rope because there are lots of birds resting on the electrical wires outside.
  • A Zamboni machine on a hockey rink displays a sign stating, "Student Driver," and there are several hockey players stuck under the machine.