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  • A snowman teacher yells at his student for drifting.
  • A man wins the lightning round on a game show and is electrocuted.
  • Mary's little lamb is attacked with snow equipment because of its fleece.
  • A snake eats the groundhog on groundhog day.
  • Dodos go extinct on Noah's Arc because one of them believes in zero population growth.
  • Godzilla eats people in the snow, who are individually wrapped in their coats.
  • A snowman sneezes and his carrot nose flies off and stabs a kid.
  • Angels in high heaven complain because it stinks.
  • Mrs. Claus is excited for her Christmas gift, but Santa forgot to get her one.
  • A woman says it's funny that turkeys are so stupid they drown while looking up in rain, but her husband is drowning because he looked up in the shower.
  • Man at end of Big Bird balloon carries umbrella in case there's bird excrement.
  • A human describes hail as being the size of golf balls, while a mouse says cheese balls, a cat says the size of fur balls, and a Frankenstein's monster says the size of eyeballs.