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  • Therapist tells snowflake it's unrealistic to date someone exactly like yourself.
  • Bread wife is found by husband with another slice buttering her.
  • Mr. Potato Head takes off his nose so he can ignore his child's diaper.
  • Mrs. Claus is angry with Santa for going to old girlfriend's house on Christmas Eve.
  • Santa comes home early to be suspicious of elf step stool at Mrs. Claus's bedside.
  • Mother sends daughter Hanukkah gelt and guilt for not coming to visit.
  • Cat played with mouse and killed it before giving it to wife.
  • Porcupine gets passive-aggressive gift of coupon good for a hug.
  • Mark Zuckerberg constantly changes like his Facebook platform.
  • Laptop is shocked about number of laps girlfriend has been on.
  • Worm without partner realizes that he's reproducing asexually tonight.
  • Papa Bear hires Goldilocks to eat porridge so that he can order pizza.