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  • Husband gives store credit as gift, but wife wanted to return gift herself.
  • Family is concerned about father's excessive milk moustache, beard, and hair.
  • Ventriloquist's lips don't move when kissing his girlfriend.
  • Pear can't compare new apple girlfriend to old orange girlfriend.
  • Woman thought snowman would be muscular when he said he was built.
  • Husband cannot remember password of wedding anniversary date.
  • Family plays with own electronic devices on family game night.
  • Cell phones gossip that old style phone never leaves the house.
  • Cat discovers wife being licked by who she claims is a personal groomer.
  • Nut mixer is a ripoff since the clientele is made up mostly of peanuts.
  • Nickname of Widdle Bitty Kitty Widdy doesn't fit unusually large cat.
  • A hermit crab sharing his shell with a girl crab rethinks being a hermit.