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  • A wine glass takes another wine glass's girlfriend home by accident.
  • A whale goes on a date with a whale who mouth-breathes instead of using his blowhole.
  • A dog instant messages his friends.
  • A dog doesn't want his friends to mark his cast.
  • An anteater is such an aggressive kisser that his tongue comes out his girlfriend's ear.
  • A book hits on a woman at a bar.
  • A parrot buys his girlfriend the wrong kind of cracker.
  • A woman's husband never forgets their anniversary because he invented the time machine.
  • A dog buys her husband his favorite food, anything.
  • Dogs draw a cat face on another dog's cone.
  • Godzillas go on a romantic walk on the beach, crushing people beneath their feet.
  • A woman is confused how her husband has so many reward points at the jewelry store, because he spent lots of money there on other women.