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  • Cat says barefoot lady stepping on dead mouse gift is learning his love language.
  • Baseball annoyed by irritating date’s finger joint popping thinks last time I date a knuckle ball.
  • Sleepless couple in bed mistakenly buy painful sharp discomforter blanket.
  • Lady tells date kitty on laptop online meeting in other room will take a while to get used to him.
  • Honeybee on smartphone sees flowers online dating profile looking for a third sex partner.
  • Wife tells husband nasty car trunk foods not basically the same as food truck.
  • Grilled burger at BBQ warns single friend distant hamburger guy cold in the middle.
  • Mistaken ocean clam’s incompatible relationship with pistachio nutshell love.
  • Praying mantis bugs at bar admit eat mates’ heads to avoid awkward eye contact after sex.
  • Woman dating scary monster head man thinks she’s missing red flags in relationship.
  • Therapist tells wife in couples counseling putting up walls triggers traumatized Humpty Dumpty husband.
  • Female preying mantis on date runs into decapitated ex-husband in uncomfortable meeting.