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  • Man walking into ladies' intimate apparel store hopes no one saw him, not realizing there's a big celebration waiting because he's the one millionth customer.
  • Male skelton tells female, Agatha, he suspected cheating, but didn't expect to find so many skeletons in her closet, there are real skeletons in closet.
  • One sauce pan tells another pot after hitting the teakettle that it will be the last time he whistles at her.
  • Spoon tells fork that first impressions are crucial with her parents, asks fork to do something with his hair, which are fork tines.
  • Car salesman at bar is upset, tells friend the girl never loved him, she just wanted good deal on Mercedes, implying that he was used.
  • Woman living with tooth fairy, surrounded by teeth, says it was fascinating first, but he doesn't clean up, he's out all night and dresses funny.
  • Turtle stuck on back after falling off ladder agrees to take wife to dinner and movie and buy roses if she will turn him over.
  • Man takes hanger out of closet, hanger begs him not to hang up the tacky polyester suit because he has a big date tonight.
  • Man with big ego tells woman after a few dates, she will find him absolutely super, while she is thinking superficial.
  • One clock tells another he's going to ask out Clara in accounting because he's heard she's pretty fast.
  • Archie the apple wants to impress date, a pear, with his family tree, showing different apples, like Agatha tempting Adam, Jeffrey bonking Sir Issac Newton.
  • Two cats on date, one cat thinks the other is embarrassing because he ordered white wine with gerbils.