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  • Letter E teacher tells letter E parents that child is quiet and uninvolved, needs career as silent letter, parents think Hope and Love, child thinks Trouble.
  • Man on one knee proposing to girlfriend opens ring box to reveal a ringworm - a ring with a worm coming out of it.
  • Dinosaur wife tells husband that if he eats the baked bean factory, he is sleeping on the couch.
  • Derek recovered and only needed 7 stitches after asking girlfriend, who has a large beak, for just one kiss, a peck on the cheek.
  • One mosquito tells another that maybe he shouldn't have given her a hickey because she is rubbing calamine lotion on the bite for the itch.
  • Dentist tells Dracula he wouldn't have to drill if the vampire would stop dating women with high blood sugar.
  • One house tells another that the female house on the corner is nice to look at, but there isn't much upstairs.
  • Wife gives husband birthday gift of dent puller, touch-up paint, and auto body gift certificate, he asks if there's something she needs to tell him.
  • Derek asks woman if she'd like to dance, she says yes, then says, "Wait, you didn't think I meant with you'".
  • Lucy, the blood cell, runs off with another blood cell in the artery, while Tim, the blood cell, waits in vain - in the vein.
  • One fly tells another, Madeline, as she flies away in a huff, that when he says she looks like crap, it's a compliment.
  • Dog sitting in a stand selling other pups the chance to sniff her for $1.00, and has sign saying that cold noses are ok.