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  • A stork has trouble proposing because his knees bend the wrong way.
  • A man has been saving his spit in a jar for a week so he can swap it with his girlfriend.
  • The Jolly Green Giant looks at the centerfold of a magazine called Fine Gardening.
  • A snake sheds his skin before he can grow a new one and becomes a puddle.
  • In the off season, sugar plums dance in seedy nightclubs.
  • The tin man family says grease instead of grace.
  • An anteater sneezes during a meal, covering his date with ants.
  • A woman makes her parents pay to give her their opinion of her new boyfriend.
  • A baby thinks his dad needs a drool bib while watching women's volleyball and Baywatch.
  • A wallaby gets an inferiority complex when its mom carries it in a fanny pack.
  • A man dreams of canoeing, a dog dreams of chasing rabbits, and a cat dreams of sleeping.
  • Your luggage gets lost because it refuses to pull over and ask for directions.