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  • A man talks the way he chatted online, with typos.
  • A bear is covered with bee stings.
  • Mark updates nursery rhymes for the modern age.
  • An eel pretends to be electric by rubbing himself on the carpet.
  • A carrot stripteases by peeling her skin.
  • Lois Lane marries Superman.
  • Popular Mechanics' swimsuit edition has pictures of male mechanics in bikinis.
  • A mouse traps her husband and claims it was an accident.
  • A woman's online lover accidentally wrote someone else's username.
  • A man is excited to meet his blind date because he thinks she's built like a brick house, but she's actually made of bricks.
  • Amoebas complain that TV these days is nothing but senseless viruses and gratuitous dividing.
  • A chicken downloads pictures of plucked chickens online.