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  • A snake refuses to stick his tongue out for a family portrait.
  • Birds' eggs hatch, revealing a boy bird, a girl bird, and a pair of pantyhose.
  • A salt shaker's parents don't understand why he wants to date another salt shaker instead of a pepper shaker.
  • Babies secretly read a book about how to manipulate parents.
  • A cat feels sleep deprived if he sleeps fewer than 21 1/2 hours.
  • A man with no legs wonders how the other half lives.
  • A pregnant woman wishes her husband could be pregnant so she could do errands.
  • A mechanic's toddler daughter asks to make an appointment because she's about to have an accident.
  • A man orders a child-sized drink and recieves a drink the size of his child.
  • Pigs need to teach their children to eat like pigs.
  • An oyster gets her kids to irritate her husband so he'll make pearls.
  • Ants only visit their mom on sundaes.